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09:28 pm
[Link] | i am not doing too well, as of late.
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08:27 pm
[Link] | i think i told ryan to leave me alone.
i don't know if this was a mistake or not.
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04:35 am
[Link] | it's valentines day, and i'm happy (:
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10:10 pm
[Link] | sometimes i wish i didn't know what was going on.
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01:02 am
[Link] | it's weird how people start callng you babe after you tell them you'll have sex with them.
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10:10 pm
[Link] |
tonight:
chris fell through the ice into the pond
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06:52 pm
[Link] | saturday we headed up to morgan's house. i went to a hardcore show with her & her friends ben and harry, and then we met up with some of her other friends in poughkeepsie. sweet kids (:
sundayy, we went skiing but i couldn't breathe like at all because of the bronchitus. literally we were on the lift and i was practically suffocating. so we left early, and then me and morgan spent eight hours on the couch watching all the bring it on movies and then i basically collapsed.
& todayyy we left ): i was so sad, i honestly love my family so so much and i wish i got to see them more often.
bronchitus sucks, i cough more than i breathe.
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11:12 pm
[Link] |
skiing again today.
sore again today.
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02:03 am
[Link] |
i need to get out of here
out of new jersey.
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04:14 am
[Link] | when my head falls on your pillow please don't remind me that it has to be the last time
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09:46 pm
[Link] | i had to wake up at four in the morning today to be at the rec place at 5:45 because the buses for skiing left at six.
i had so much fun (: i love skiing. although i'm totally beat now, and am in pain. my head won't stop poundinggg.
goodnight
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09:15 pm
[Link] |
whoever you care about now & wherever they are:
happy new year.
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02:13 am
[Link] |
the closer i get to you, the farther i feel from me
go outside please and tell me if the wind is still blowing. check the trees from the porch. (no. closer.) from an ocean away; let's hope we never meet at all. it's been so long since i've seen you. or a blue sky. i will stutter, i will try to tell you: i don't believe in very much except for the pictures you send me, envelope-sealed. i wonder if the birds will stay longer in your branches. go outside please and tell me when winter ends.
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12:34 am
[Link] | i'm crying and i don't know why. i think i am getting sick either figuratively or literally. i just want to go home and it doesn't feel like home here anymore.
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01:26 am
[Link] | statues aren't supossed to cry. although somehow, this one was; tearless, broken sobs.
his face felt real and for once i saw him quiet. packing up all his clothes to go places he would never go with me.
and whispered: "don't blame me. you're the one who put your hope in someone elses' hands."
i look down at the floor, my shoes, the rug's curlicues.
his face looked darker now.
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11:34 pm
[Link] | shitty christmas. my dad was high. at first he just looked scary. scary and dusty. i don't like being around him. he kept looking at me, and touching me. there was a lot of screaming (at me) and crying (me) and people (me and john) isolating themselves. i don't know why it affects me/us more than other people, i was literally starting to feel sick to my stomach, i couldn't stand sitting in that house any longer.
i love christmas, i do, but i hated today.
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01:51 am
[Link] | every person has at least one secret that would break your heart.
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05:33 am
[Link] | my mom: "if this doesn't stop, i'm leaving"
if WHAT doesn't stop? i get good grades. i have friends. i am nice to her.
i didn't say anything though.
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04:30 am
[Link] | lovinn that i can't sleep. the generator across the street has been exploding periodically since about 10. there's fire and sparks and smoke and i am kind of anxious. andd the power's out.
went to katie's this weekend (: it was so much funn i love her.
i'm so glad that this week is the last one before break. christmas is soooonnn!
i am so worried about annie. i wish there was something i could do for her, i really do. i feel so helpless, i really just want her to be okay.
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05:51 pm
[Link] | it doesn't snow here anymore ):
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